Text: Bo Burnham. High School Party.

High School party, senior year
Boys and girls are all sippin on beer
I like soda, wheres the soda
Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda
I see you from across the crowd
I said the party is bumpin and the music is loud
Youre really drunk and youre looking sad
Its like a date rape ad

Girl, then we start to dance and
Girl, baby this is romance
Girl, Im starting to grow down below, shit, why did I wear sweat pants
Girl, youre bodies like what
conjunction junction, thats a fine ass but
Im like a cashew in a lollipop, Just keeping suckin til you get to the nut

And I said
Lets rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
Either way girl, were taking a walk (wok)
Youre going to love me the way my uncle did
Except youre not gonna to go to court for doin it
Be a guillotine or my girl instead
Either way, youre giving me head
Im gonna love you the right way
Shorty with a body looking hotty when I say

Girl
When I say girl


We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
Whys it called dry humping if I always need a towel after
You spread your naked legs and I see that wounded that never healed
Even though youre yelling for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
Were both aware of my erection
You ask if I have protection
I say Well um no...I-I tried to buy em once I was in the convenient store my old baby sitter walked in I had to hide them near the tic-tacs I was so embarrassed I peed myself a little bit

Girl
Girl

Insert a euphemism
A sexy mental prism
Increase my pelvic rhythm
For you with my syllogism
I know your body and I know how to please ya
Dont thank me, thank wikipedia
Guys dont go down, well I am-
What the fuck is that, I should have brought my diagram
Ooh did you feel that, that was an educated guess
Ooh did you feel that, uh that one was a sneeze, my bad

High school party, senior year
None of that happened cause I wasnt invitedhm