Text: Carly Simon. The Bedroom Tapes. Big Dumb Guy.

So many tech-heads
Recent invasion
I stretch out my long legs
And I kick away the mouse pad, baby

Amazon, eBay, Oracle, he say
He promise a freebee
But he's such a pokey little guy
Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumping out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last

Cyberman lights up
But mostly he floppy
Computer man crashes
He's so humpty dumpty, baby
Now he tries this experiment
Though he knows it's so low-tech
He tries patting his forehead
While he's rub, rub, rubbing my stomach, baby

But he can't do it, can he?
No, no he can't do that at all
But wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
Sure enough, that big dumb guy
Is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
Big papa bear

Maybe you can remember
It wasn't that long ago
When you dialed a number
You got a living, breathing human being
On the telephone

Don't want nothing to do
But just study the skin on your face
I want to look up at the sky
And watch the sunset
With someone like you

Wait, I hear big footsteps
Thud, thumbing out of the past
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here at last
That big dumb guy is here, he's here

In fact he's brought his
Big raccoon coat with him
And he doesn't even know it's
Politically incorrect

That big dumb guy is here at last
I see him now walking torward me
Let's get it on with your big bad self

Get it on babe, Get it on babe
Get it on babe, Get it on babe
That big dumb guy is here at last
Big, big, big, big, big
Big dumb guy
Oh, ha - smartest guy
I ever knew yeah
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
Kiss me, kiss me now
If feels so good

I don't want to have to go into those chat rooms anymore
I don't want to see that pinwheel go round
And around and around
Every time I try to open any window
Hold me, you big dumb guy
You smart guy