Text: Elvis Costello. Charm School.

Men made out of monkeys, men made into mice
Happy days are here again
And all the drinks half price
A girl with a trick and a man with a calling

Trying to make a living out of your down falling
Trying to make a living out of anything at all
Didn't they teach you anything, except how to be cruel
In that charm school?

You and I as lovers were nothing but a farce
Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's arse
Saying, ?Why don't you watch me?
Hardly speaking sotto voce

Trying to make a living out of your down falling
Trying to make a living out of anything at all
Didn't they teach you anything, except how to be cruel
In that charm school?

I've got a notion, I've got an angle
Take your dreams and promises
And put them through the mangle
They say it's hell to finance too
And I just want to romance you

In this perpetual nightclub I'll be yours eternal
Though the hours are long and the noise infernal
Just one shameful act or sometimes two
We make believe we're making do

Trying to make a living out of your down falling
Trying to make a living out of anything at all
Didn't they teach you anything, except how to be cruel
In that charm school?

Didn't they teach you anything, except how to be cruel
In that charm school, in that charm school?