Text: Loudon Wainwright III. Other. Talking New Bob Dylan.

Hey, Bob Dylan, I wrote you a song.
Today is your birthday if I'm not wrong.
If I'm not mistaken you're fifty today,
How are you doin', Bob? What do you say?

Well, it musta been about '62,
I heard you on record, and you were brand-new.
An' some had some doubts about the way you sang,
But the truth came through and loudly rang.
Yeah, you were hipper than Mitch Miller,
And Johnny Mathis, put together.

So I got some boots, a harmonica rack,
A D-21, an' I was on the right track.
But I didn't start writing until '68,
It was too damn daunting, you were too great.
I won a whole lot of Bob Dylan imitation contests, though -- huh [DYLAN IMITATION]

Yeah, times were a-changin',
You brought it all home --
"Blonde On Blonde", "Like a Rolling Stone" .
The real world is crazy, you were deranged,
An' when you went electric, why, everything changed --
A shock to the system.

Had a commission at yer motorcycle wreck --
Holed up in Woodstock, with a broken neck.
The labels were signin' up guys with guitars, out to make millions, lookin' for stars.
Well, I figured it was time to make my move --
Songs from the West Chester County Delta country.

Yeah, I got a deal , and so did John Prine, Steve Forbert and Springsteen, all in a line.
They were lookin' for you, signin' up others,
We were "new Bob Dylans" -- your dumb-ass kid brothers.
Well, we still get together every week at Bruce's house --
Why, he's got quite a spread, I tell ya -- it's a twelve-step program.

Well, but we were just us and of course you were you,
"John Wesley Harding" sure sounded new.
And then "Nashville Skyline" was even newer,
'Blood On the Tracks', an' the ringin' got truer.
Let's see -- there was another one in there somewhere...oh, I got it, I got it -- "Self Portrait" --
Well, it was an interesting effort.

Yeah, had to stop listening, times were too tough,
Me bein' the new me was hard enough.
You keep right on changin' like you always do,
An' what's best is the old stuff still all sounds new..

Yeah, today is your birthday -- have a great one, Bob!
Bein' the new you is one hell of a job.
My kid cranked up her boom-box to almost grown
When I heard you screamin' [DYLAN IMITATION]
From her room [DYLAN IMITATION] --
"Everybody must get stoned."
Thanks a lot, Bob.

Happy birthday, Bob.