Text: Nick Lowe. 36 Inches.

Once I was a soldier
I rode on a big white horse
Silver pistols at my side
Carryin' the flags of war

And I lost track of the men who fell
In the canon's roar
I never got over bein' a soldier

Once I was a tax man
Collectin' dollars and dimes
I heard the rich man grumble
I heard the poor man cry

Some few couldn't afford to pay
Were put to a shackle and key
I never got over bein' a tax man

Once I was a ruler
About twelve inches long
Three times me made a yardstick
36 inches high

36 inches high was I
36 inches high
I never got over 36 inches high