Text: Stephen Lynch. Grandfather.

When Grandfather dies, life will be strange
When Grandfather dies, my whole life will change
When Grandfather dies, I'll scream and I'll yell
'Coz I'll be fucking rich as hell.

So Grandfather die, don?t keep me in suspense
So Grandfather cough, up that inheritance
So Grandfather don't, hold on another day
I love you to death, but I gots bills to pay.

A stroke would be nice,
Disease would be cool,
I'll scatter his ashes in my new swimming pool
I'll party with Heff, I'll dine with the Queen,
So what?s say we unplug that machine.

Oh Grandfather die, before the fiscal year,
Oh Grandfather I, wish Kevorkian were here
Oh Grandfather fly, just take your final bow.
Oh Grandfather die, family hates you any how.


For God sakes you must be as old as the Sun,
Your social security number is one
Your deaf, dumb and blind and an amputee
You donate your blood, every time that you pee.
Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains
Your so old your penis has varicose veins,
Oh why don't you die Grampa, why must you fight?
You old mother fucker, just walk toward the god damned light

Walk toward the light old man, walk toward the light old man
Its all over now, my Grandad is dead
A mysterious blow to his wrinkled old head.
Before I collect a small oversight
But everything should work alright
I'll start working on my Grandma tonight.