Text: Tenacious D. Other. The Amazing Spiderman.

Spiderman! Spiderman! Does whatever a spider can! Is he strong, Listen bud, he's got the radioactive blood! Hey there, there goes the Spiderman! Is he strong, Listen bud, he's got the radioactive blood! Can he scream, o yeah! Take a look over there! Hey there, here comes the Spiderman! David Dark coming at him, he's got f*ckin ultimate fighter championship moves! Here comes Spidey, he's not f*ckin really Spidey, his moves didn't work because he's f*ckin Spidey. Spiderman doesn't look right, he looks like sheep a*s. Spidey, wearing the Nike shoes! I can see in the f*ckin BVDs. Outline... oh fuck, stay totally still. Stay totally still. Its f*ckin Sassaphrasquatch! I've been searching for him for 10 years and now's my chance to capture him! I'm not movin, oh f*ck! He's usin the web! He's usin the web! Look at Spidey! He screams at the audience! He's using the f*ckin Spidey...ahh couldn't hold him. He f*ckin holds almost everybody, but it didn't work on Sass! He f*ckin used a matrix move, he f*ckin used a matrix move! Douche! Ha! One f*ckin ball! What the f*ck is going down? Somebody help us! He's got a tranquilizer gun! David Dark's got a tranquil gun! he shot him in the a*s with a tranquilizer gun! Why does he have his c*ck out? That's not right! Here comes Sassafras, he's f*ckin really p*ssed off. Now what the f*ck is happening tonight? Is he gonna fight? He should have f*ckin known not to pull out your d*ck in front of Sass. He'll rip that sh*t right off! Now you're f*ckin bummed! What are you doing? No, no no! Don't make him suck your chode! oh Jesus, suckin on his f*ckin chode! He's gonna shoot a f*ckin load! Fine old Sassafras, he's gonna shoot a load. Ahh, yes, that's nondairy creamer! What the f*ck? That's bad news bears! That's a lot of c*mm! That's way too much Sass c*mm! Sassafras, he hasn't f*cking done enough. He's dragging him by the foot, he's gettin him in position. I don't know what for, but I think it's finger lickin! Oh no, oh no! The ultimate fighter championship! P*ss flamin sh*t! And he's taking it to him! Oh Jesus! Wait a second, he's got him tricked! The old stick for the f*ckin Sassafras trick, works every time! See if you can keep him alive. Battle this, life is a great big hang up! Whenever there's a bang up, you'll see Sassafras and Spiderman taking a sh*t on David Dark!