Text: The Vandals. Aging Orange.
I'm Palm Palm head - and I wrote one good song - But that was almost 20 years ago - I tried and I tried to follow it up - But you know how those sophomore jinxes go - So I became quite bitter - as sales dropped like flies - No one likes these dumb songs - of racing cars and spies - Maybe it's my ape drape - or hippies in my band - But now we only tour in Arizona - or Japan - So after much thought - and a panel of experts - I came up with a brilliant little plan - I'll take out my frustrations - on one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands - 'cause I invented socks - and I invented gravy - I made up the cotton gin - but no one ever paid me - Why beat a dead horse - with a career that is cursed? - I'll just sue for royalties - on things I thought of first - Back in Ancient Egypt - many Pharaohs went to jail - for misappropriation - of my Phrigian scale - I said listen to Tutankhamen - you're driving me insane - it's obvious those bellies - are all dancing to Bloodstains - I figured out you owe me - and please try not to laugh - but every time I hear it - I get one more golden calf - So I've bitten off - a sizable chunk - of the hands of the people - with the food - Now I'm confined to the pages of Flipside - a graveyard of punk rock's 35 year old dudes - 'cause I invented socks - and I invented gravy - I made up the cotton gin - but no one ever paid me - Why beat a dead horse - with a career that is cursed? - I'll just sue for royalties - on things I thought of first - Palm Palm! - Palm Palm! - Palm Palm! - Ape Drape! - Ape Drape! - Poodle Head! - Poodle Head!
Vandals, The